Parent guilt and a fresh start
Ok, I am going to be real for a minute here... I am freaking excited about our upcoming trip to Japan (3 days and counting!). I do have some mixed feelings though. Let me elaborate;
I am a single parent, finances are always tight and often I barely make it to my next pay. It is for this reason that spending a huge amount of money on a holiday for me and my daughter is a little hard to swallow. I often talk about travelling on a budget and how achievable it is, I wholeheartedly believe it too. Although I can also fully understand the other side of the coin, because I live it. Generally the other side of the coin- of not being able to afford much at all- is my life.
The last couple of days I have been going through a little bit of self imposed guilt, thinking I should focus more on getting ahead than going on a holiday.
Here is why I have decided to squash down those guilty feelings;
These last 2.5 years have been hard yakka (please excuse my Aussie colloquialism, it is all that felt appropriate). They have been highly emotional, stressful and draining. I feel like I have spent the time fighting fires, on the defense and running in circles just to keep up. I am a full time Mum who works, nannies, tutors, mentors and volunteers. I have decided that I need to take the reigns of my life again, I need to stop being reactionary and take control. I have needed to experience these last couple of years and have learned so many lessons in the process, I have learned how strong I am and how valuable true friendships and family are.
This time away feels like a new beginning, for myself and my daughter. To do something for us- something more than a Mummy and Me park day or icecream date :)
My daughter deserves the best of everything in life, she is amazing, warm hearted, funny and loving. She deserves to be able to experience all the good things that the world has to offer. She deserves to go to Disneyland and Disneysea when we are in Japan. She deserves to learn about a new culture by being immersed in it.
This time away will be used for work, it will be our fresh start at building our new life, working towards getting on top of everything. This trip symbolises new beginnings. My daughter is my number one priority, I am trying to build a business so I am able to work from home, which will mean I can spend more time with her and be able to enjoy the school holidays with her, instead of having to rush off to work while leaving her with my parents.
This is all such a nerve-wracking concept and is taking me way out of my comfort zone but if I am able to accomplish what I set out to, it is so worth it.
Now..... back to writing lists so I don't forget to pack anything ;)